These months' elations

I was fingering two extremely hot girls simultaneously as i fed them each others private juices. I came out of the café i was hanging out with friends at, and left them to check this trendier, hotter place out. As I would grope one girl's ass i pulled the other's hair, to hear her moan and make her face look like an orgasm.
I barely kissed either, when i did one, she wanted to know more about my fingers on her lips than my lips on hers.
I didnt know their name either.
We were grinding in a bar on the main, and her ass shivered as i slid my fingers beneath her underwear.

The trick here is that i came in to enjoy better music, and it showed. I was in the mood to party, that's what i let the first girl know, she was here to dance alone, and told me so. She asked me for my name, a graduate she was, nice young lady, with some guy and girlfriends there, all in all.
I don't know much else because I'm mostly deaf, but it just was good social proof for me, i wasn't some random perv with cherry t-shirt walking into a student bar to pick up my prey anymore, rather i became a sociable guy, here for a party but up for a chat. I left her; "gotta join my friends, later".

The first place was still crap, the music just got worst, and now i had random chick tell me i looked totally blasé, indifferent. Fock dat. I let her know it's crap as i tried to dance with her, to notice she was already with some guys, so i just dragged my friend out of there and brought him to the other bar.

Now with the power 2, i didn't at all look like a looser, and i talk too, i finally had all the pussy i could grab. And such i did. After a moment of excited dancing, and making myself noticed (unintentionally, i do it for fun...that's how it's best done), i spin and grind a shorty, and notice she's very much inviting my hand to get under her skirt. Exactly where i want it.

Her friends appeared out of the darkness, to greet me with a hungry "hi", as one of them joined my other leg. It wasn't luck, rather i unconsciously always have this blasé look inside of me, and it shows! This indifference is the source of my recent success in fingering chicks, because my concern is enjoying the mood more than her pussy. This however is also the source of me not laying these chicks, i tame my sexual intentions, to allow myself to enjoy the moment. This turns out to be a long term loss for me.

I hereby resolve to allow my indifference to take over my actions, and inversely my intentions to take over my subconscious.

This means i gotta ask the chick to come with me somewhere we can have more intimacy, when i feel that.
That's a weeks worth, i wont go on about last week, but it's the same story, slightly different, same failed ending.
Not anymore though. Now im going in for the jackpot.

Euphoria

Every time i imagine myself having a conversation with someone, its really a long monologue, kind of like these blog posts, and this monologue is uninterrupted, and increasingly interesting. I guess i could do the same, and i have, in my real life conversations.. that would put make it seem like i'm leading the conversation, but i surely would loose the interest of the person eventually.

Nonetheless sometimes when i talk too much i open up too much, and this probably makes me look weak at points. Is there a problem with seeming weak? No, it's a common property in all human beings. There is however a problem in seeming weak in your initial conversation with a person. So i should focus on asking more questions.

I've resolved to perhaps hang out in social places a bit more in the immediate future so that i may practice my talking, and conversational skills instead of lurking around grabbing easy preys on the dance floor thanks to my height, and perhaps nice fashion.

I should also right down a list of what really describes me, and these characteristics i always imagine myself talking about that way i can sum them up quickly in a necessary intro.

Also i should have a list of quick values to communicate immediately when i'm talking to a chick i've just met.

I notice that these lists are things we've all done in elementary school, highschool and whenever in our education, in the language and communicative courses at least, so that we would know ourselves, however i, and probably many of you are amongst those who did this with some detachment. It is however important work so i should do it now.

This is 2009, and Slim's back again

My last ventures in night clubs have been great.
Make out after make out, hugs, kisses, chicks opening me, omgwtflol ... nothing new though.. right?

i will say one thing that did change: I can really feel that nature's "maturing process" is having an effect on me, you know.. how your personality changes as you get older, the way you act, do things.

I wish i could tell you all you have to do is wait till you mature and things will turn out great for you in terms of women, but that's not it. I have a natural ambition to have physical contact with women (grind) and make out with her, i can't help it, and it's both helping and damaging my game.

For one, when i start making out, i think what happens is that i trigger a belief mechanism in my mind that the game has been won, and i don't really need to do anything more but make out.

That's wrong, because my ultimate goal should be to make out with her other set of lips.

And even that's just the animalistic, instinctive goal. The true goal i wish to reach in order to have a sense of self fulfillment is to actually be able to have her naturally connect with me, as well as to have a natural connection with her.

I like to write all this down because i can see these goals and what i have to do to get there, the biggest problem is internalizing this knowledge, and turning it into beliefs, like i've done it for make outs... it used to be i wouldn't know what to do with an attractive girl in a nightclub.

I must reiterate the basic principles that i might sometimes forget when trying to attract girls, and trying to seduce them: do not seem needy, BUT you must have a mission, i mean by that that you need to do something at all times, and it can't just be trying to get the girl! don't confuse having fun, and getting the girl, you want to have fun, her lips/body will probably help, just go for having fun however you can (dance, cheer, be happy dont worry) and if she feels you're in the mood she will want to share fun with you, and from there you can get physical with her and both have fun sexually, or even just a makeout.

Ok so that's it for today, see you soon, hopefully before next year lol.

That being said

My complete indifference towards social standards is now turning me into a social outcast, or more clearly a bum.
Everything has it's time and place, and i'm not going to talk about personal issues with people i don't know or who will react awkwardly to it. Even if the problem is with them and not me, i should use that knowledge to my advantage. As such i will also stop alcohol once again, too much money wasted, too many wrong things said and done.
However i will keep, and reenforce my openness, but not my invasiveness. To do that i'll just be more indifferent to people's reactions, after having adapted my own self-controls listed above.
It's time for change... for me too.

No more BS now

I lived my summer expensively, dispensing money sin after sin, I allowed myself to get anything i so desired and kept pushing the limits of my *taboos* everytime. And i ignored the value of money.
But now i've reached the top, i paid for things i never could morally conceive, and i paid way to much. I've lived what i had to live and now is time for me to start thinking morally and logically again.

With that said, i've set my goals for now.

As for what concerns women, and probably most aspects of ones lives, i can't have shame expressing my desires! If i do so, not only will i not reach my goal for meeting women for example, but i will do it in secrecy in every which way i can and that is bad. You might as well be an over sexual pervert and that is the image you project, then keep to your self and in your spare time keep in the shadows to go to stripclubs and places that sell sex to the ashamed just to pay for services you can get for free.

I'm going to break this trough in my performance, and now i'm going to stop this bullshit, and get clear with myself... Be aggressive in my desires, and display it. I'm going back to the begining of this year.

I've had the experiences i had this summer... and now it's time to put these away and start fresh.

?

Today i died and i was born again, as days go by my life seems more and more like a Hollywood flick... a fictional story.
I get a taste of both the happy and sad endings.

But where did it begin, when does it end?

Dramatic changes like these don't make me change my life goals anymore.. what affects me now?
When will they tell me im due to die again?
When will i near complete unconsciousness again...

Should i not enjoy everyday like i have been?
I've lived like ill die tomorrow my whole life, and dream like ill live forever.

Bad club good club

Clubs change frequently in Montreal, but as of today here is my how i evaluate some clubs, based how socially open the customers are, the staff, the general perception one can have of it (looks, sound, feeling).

Opera - Very good, probably the best, it hasnt failed me yet, and the people inside are all nice.
La Mouche - I've only been once so far, but it is extremely promising, the crowd is very varied but mentally mature, and appreciable.

737 - Utter crap. The only reason you could go there is for the view outside, but since 2 years of having gone there, it is always the same crap. Very occasionally you'll find reasonable people there. But NOT on the main dancefloor (second floor) it is OVER Crowded, and they definitely should lower the capacity. The ratio is 8 guys for 2 girls, and it Stinks. There is only one fan in the main dancefloor and everyone shoves each other to get there. DO NOT GO. The crowd is young and snobby. If you intend to go pick up there, don't intend to talk much. Just go complete rapist-caveman style, ignore everything she will say/do. I advocate being very firm in your physical approach (not strong as in hirting her.. but Firm). And keeping a happy mood. and ignoring her rejection shit tests.

La boom - there is better circulation then 737 but it's more or less the same type of people, except they are more receptive, i've had more success here with the women, and their's often young ladies wanting to experiment, so i'd say this is probably one of the better clubs for younger girls. (16-20)

Cafe campus - Not my style

Radio lounge -

Ballroom - love story, great DJ, great crowd, a bit old for me, but still i love it, especially nice staff.

Lite ultraclub - light...

Katrina - hahahahhaha just for fuck's sake lol. But ya this is like a super last last resort to a fucked evening, if you want to just go caveman ballistic on tourists from outerspace, people who go in there have no idea how crappy it is. Else they wouldn't.

1234 - How good or bad this is Varries so much, ..... .

Tribe - i love it, a bit small though, on thursdays the crowds are nice.


I'll continue these summaries in due time.